Category: Friday

From what I understand about prison (based on TV and movies) is the people in charge aren’t supposed to let you die until it’s time for your execution, if you’re on death row. I’ve also been led to believe there is a last meal, but that may actually be false. Well, I mean technically there’s a last meal, there’s always a last meal. But how much time exists between this last meal and the execution? And what happens if you order something you’re deathly allergic to? Like anaphylactic shock type allergy? If you’re going to the chair in like 4 hours, but that peanut sauce is doing the job early, are they going to slam that EpiPen into your thigh? Maybe this is why they don’t actually do special order last meals. It’s definitely why you shouldn’t ask what I’m thinking. It’s just stupid questions about unimportant shit. If I had a food allergy I would include it in my last meal just to see what I had been missing out on. It must be Friday, because I’m rambling. Let’s try to quell this word vomit with some links.

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Continue reading “Happy Friday: Colossal Youth”

On Tuesday I went downtown and joined the throngs of people gathered to cheer on the Broncos as they rolled down the street with the Vince Lombardi trophy. There’s a very delightful feeling in the air when your local team wins the Super Bowl. Despite the massive crowd, everybody was rather cordial with each other. Being united in orange works well for this town. I love and hate that it takes something as stupid as a team winning a game to make us better people. Not that I needed it, but it’s another reason to root for the Broncos. But now it’s the off-season so we’re back to using Fridays as our reason to celebrate and treat each other better.

Continue reading “Happy Friday: Wild Horses”

It’s sportsball championship game weekend. I honestly don’t know what words I’m allowed to use without incurring the wrath of the country-wide sportsball association (CWSA). The match features my hometown team, the Mile High City Donkeys, and I always like watching sports more when I’m rooting for a team rather than just rooting against one. Last year I wasn’t so much hoping the Pacific Northwest Oceanbirds won, but rather the Boston Nationalists lost. But there’s still some time until the game, so you can either have fun with synonyms like me, or you can enjoy some of the fun the internet has to offer. Think of these links as the extra point to the touch down that is the weekend. I know I ran out of synonyms there. I’ll work on it.

Continue reading “Happy Friday: Take Me Out”

I love to read or watch videos about conspiracy theories. I don’t buy into them, but I am always amused by the preposterous claims they make. So I had a blast this week with all of the talk about the earth being flat. I really don’t know which I liked better, the notion that all the nations are working together to keep this pointless secret, or the terrible diagram used to explain the seasons. Ikea picture directions are more comprehensible. It’s all fantastic in the worst way possible. Though it was hard to tear myself away from these nut-job ramblings, I did and I found the usual collection of web fun. So let’s put aside these fancifully ludicrous ideas and enjoy some sports talk, comedy talk, and more science I don’t understand but makes more sense than a non-spherical planet.

Continue reading “Happy Friday: We Are Sex Bob-Omb”

Holy cow it seems like a lot has happened since I last wrote one of these. We lost a bunch of talented people, but they will always live on in their art and our hearts. The President had some bold words about gun control, but I try to keep the politics off of here so I’ll leave it at that. Oh the Power Ball got cray for totes realz. But that’s all stuff everyone already knows about. Because of that, I would like to share with you some of the more obscure stories from the past few weeks. You know how this works. Now let’s light this candle.

Continue reading “Happy Friday: Thee Ace of Spades!”

In an odd turn of luck I was able to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens last night (first showing, NBD). I promise not to spoiling anything for you here. Except the ending when the Borg use the Tardis to travel through time and space to eliminate the Cylons and save the crew of Serenity. And with that I set nerds everywhere into a frenzy, and confused a bunch of you non-sci-fi fans. But you’re probably maxed out on Star Wars crap. I am. So I offer you a Star Wars free Happy Friday. If that’s not enough, you can always go see the new Chipmunks movie, you weirdo.

Continue reading “Happy Friday: Mouse Robot and Blasting Off”

Last year I did all my Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve, because apparently I’m a sitcom dad. This year all my Christmas shopping is done, save for a few perishable type items and one thing I had to order online. The difference this year? More free time. Easy to get motivated to go shopping when my routine needs a shake-up, and I can go while most people are working. Though the art supply store was pretty busy, it’s almost like art doesn’t conform to the 9 to 5 world. But wait, Dolly Parton is an artist and she was in a movie called 9 To 5. What does it all mean? It means I draw asinine conclusions and need to stop thinking.

Continue reading “Happy Friday #1.19 Nice Hanukkah Bush”

I was boot shopping the other day when I found a nice pair I liked. Searched all the boxes and eventually found the one pair in my size. Victory, until I opened the box and found they were missing the shoe laces. What kind of low-life scum steals shoelaces from shoes in a box? No, wait, what kind of degenerate steals shoelaces, period? Bunch of savages in this town. This story does have a happy ending, as I brought the laceless shoes to the attention of an employee and they were able to find my size in the back. It’s not often a new pair of shoes comes with the accessory of confusion. But it’s the weekend now, and you don’t need laces to tie one on. So let’s give this week the boot with some fine internetting.

Continue reading “Happy Friday #1.18 Do You Remember Rock N’ Roll Radio?”

I started addressing the envelopes for Christmas cards and surprised myself with how frequently I screwed up on the return address. I’ve been living here for like 8 years and addressing envelopes for like 27 years. I have no excuse. Sometimes my brain just stops working correctly. What’s awesome is it would probably go unnoticed but like someone with a poorly functioning brain I decided to point it out. Oh well. Maybe the cold-snap froze my synapses or something. I’ll use the weekend to warm them up. Now to start that fire how about some internet?

Continue reading “Happy Friday # 1.17 Jazz Hand Turkey”

In The Amazing Spider-Man when the Lizard is rampaging through New York, causing all sorts of destruction, I found myself curious about the insurance coverage and claims on all the cars being destroyed. I also had that thought during Die Hard 4, but most of those cars were destroyed by the government chasing the bad guy and wondered if ultimately tax dollars pay for that. Then I wondered when I became the kind of dork who considers insurance and real life issues in super hero movies. I never knew that would be part of being an adult. But seriously, when you buy insurance in a world with super heroes, is there some kind of “act of super powers” clause? Just be thankful this isn’t something we actually have to deal with and instead enjoy the internet as you start your weekend.

Continue reading “Happy Friday # 1.16 Time To Dress Up Right”