I have a “Never Forget Tony Sly” sticker on my car. Somehow (weather, car washes, whatever) it is losing a corner and is starting to read, “Never Forge Tony Sly.” Not the message I was going for, but still an important one. I hope your weekend can stay on message, and if not, may the new message still be a good one. Also, tomorrow is my sister’s birthday. Be sure to wish her a happy one if you see her. I’m sure she’ll only be slightly embarrassed by it. Or head to Odyssey Beerwerks and buy her a beer. Happy birthday, little sister!
There’s a live action version of Beauty and the Beast on its way. And we just saw a live action The Jungle Book. I have nothing against these, I even saw The Jungle Book and quite enjoyed it (Sam Raimi has a voice cameo) but I think it’s time to use this technology and characters for what we really want: live action TaleSpin. Then we can tackle the rest of the Disney Afternoon, Ducktales, Gummi Bears, Chip and Dale’s Rescue Rangers, and Darkwing Duck. There is no better time than right now for a Darkwing Duck movie. I’ll be writing a letter to Hollywood this weekend, that’s who I write to right? But first it’s time for some Friday time wasters. So let’s. get. dangerous.
There is a scene where Deadpool is handcuffed to Colossus and in order to escape he cuts off his own hand (don’t worry it’ll grow back). It’s semi-gross, though funny as Colossus is left with Deadpool’s severed hand. But what did Colossus do with that? Did he just toss it with the other dead bodies now strewn about the freeway? With the way Trask tries to use mutant powers to create mutant killers it doesn’t seem this is the wisest idea. So does Colossus need to take it back to X-Mansion for research or safety storage or something? Does the Blackbird have one of those hazmat disposal cans, like the ones generally intended for used insulin needles? Are there any mutants with diabetes? Based on actual numbers of mutants and cases of diabetes, there has to be, right? That’s a question for another day. Today I just want to know what was done with the hand. Maybe he boxed it up, mailed it to Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman, and now Colossus is the villain in the X-Men/Se7en crossover movie, X-Se7en. I would say that took a weird turn, but it never started out all that normal. So here’s to hoping your Sunday ends the same path your Friday starts.
The first trailer for Suicide Squad featured Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody,” while the latest trailer for the movie features The Sweet’s “Ballroom Blitz.” Both excellent songs, and both predominately featured in Wayne’s World. Is this a coincidence, or could it be a hint to a Wayne and Garth cameo? Probably a coincidence because obviously and because Wayne and Garth would not fit in the dark, humorless, DC murderverse. But that might be fun, like the time Batman and Robin helped Scooby Doo solve a mystery. The real question here is: were Batman and Robin so hard up they needed the help from Mystery Inc, or were all the real crimes in Gotham solved so the dynamic duo could take the time for the usual Scooby gang bullshit? What the hell am I even talking about any more? To hell with it. Enjoy your Friday. Party on.
Kimmy Schmidt, among other people, thinks it’s weird that it’s called “Mario Brothers,” essentially making them Mario Mario and Luigi Mario. In a world with a Princess Peach, a short dude wearing a mushroom cap calling himself Toadstool, walking mushroom monsters, some kind of turtle-duck hybrid things that shouldn’t be, plants that shoot fire, and an anthropomorphic turtle-dragon running a land full of castles, I hardly think the name Mario Mario is the weirdest thing going on. No real point to this. Just wanted everyone to think about how weird that entire world is and how we never give it a second thought. It’s a good life philosophy: don’t question the obstacles, just chase the goal. Today’s goal is to read internet articles. Don’t let work obstacles get in the way.
This week I learned Johnny Ramone, being the conservative member of the Ramones, earned the nickname the Klan from Joey Ramone. And the song, “The KKK Took My Baby Away,” is about Johnny stealing Joey’s girlfriend. I rather enjoyed this story, it’s very Fleetwood Mac. I have no way to actually verify its truthfulness, but I don’t care because it’s a fun story. But perhaps you prefer your Ramones less passive aggressive and more glue sniffy or sedated. Sounds like you have a weekend ahead of you. But before that, enjoy some internet. Or after. Yeah, sniff some glue then check out these links.
Have you even been in the shower and the water was at that perfect temperature, all your cares from the day were being washed away and you thought to yourself, “Man, I totally understand Kramer’s desire to live in his shower.”? No? Yeah, me neither, except almost always. I’d be in there right now if I could. But I have responsibilities, I mean not many, and they’re of low importance, but I have them. For instance, bringing forth a collection of links to help others whittle away the morning. So here you go, and may your Friday be as delightful as a shower.