Happy Friday # 1.16 Time To Dress Up Right

This outfit is perfect for the beach or the club
This outfit is perfect for the beach or the club

In The Amazing Spider-Man when the Lizard is rampaging through New York, causing all sorts of destruction, I found myself curious about the insurance coverage and claims on all the cars being destroyed. I also had that thought during Die Hard 4, but most of those cars were destroyed by the government chasing the bad guy and wondered if ultimately tax dollars pay for that. Then I wondered when I became the kind of dork who considers insurance and real life issues in super hero movies. I never knew that would be part of being an adult. But seriously, when you buy insurance in a world with super heroes, is there some kind of “act of super powers” clause? Just be thankful this isn’t something we actually have to deal with and instead enjoy the internet as you start your weekend.

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If you have read anything on the internet about Australia then you know just how deadly everything there is. Well, a new study has gone ahead and added another thing to that list. Living alone. So maybe instead of worrying about the insurance problems of fictional nobodies, I should concentrate on my own lonesome diet. The study suggests I may not be eating enough fruits and vegetables, nor do I have enough diversity in my meals. I guess instead of eating the same cereal for all three meals, I should vary them. A bowl of Cheerios on Fruity Pebble Friday (FPF) isn’t the end of the world, I suppose. Or maybe I can up my fruit intake by incorporating more Froot Loops. I really do have a garbage diet.

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Sometimes when people leave their pets home alone they leave the television on to keep said pet company. I used to chuckle at this and mock the animals for being lower life forms, until I started to realize that I feel awkward when I’m home alone and there’s no noise from a television, music device, or computer. Usually the television, which I definitely feel is one of the greatest inventions, especially when you consider all the technological breakthroughs involved with TV. Between the lousy diet and the relationship with television, I think it’s safe to say living alone is the best!

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Some science evolves television, some science cures diseases, and some science attempts to figure out why dogs tilt their heads when we talk to them. What did science find? Dogs tilt their heads to see us better, or hear us better, or because they get a positive response. Basically, science found no real answer. My thoughts? Dogs have no idea they’re doing it, they just want us to fill their food bowl, throw the ball, or drop some food. Basically, it’s a puzzled look meaning, “Where the hell is the damn food, you bipedal jerk? I still love you.”

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I can name exactly three chess players: Bobby Fisher, Samuel Powers, and the Wu-Tang Clan. Ok I suppose that’s technically 11 people, shut up. Bobby Fisher got super litigious or was caught up in some paternity scam or something weird along those lines. Samuel Powers pissed off a bunch of people and now makes skeevy porn. Basically, these two chess stars burned up in very sad ways. So does the rule of three follow for Wu-Tang founder RZA and his chess prowess? Nope, or at least not yet. So what’s the difference? Well, RZA isn’t being selfish and trying to use chess to cash in, despite all the money and endorsement deals that can befall big time professional competitors. That’s right, if you’re lucky enough to be an unfortunate, at-risk, inner city youth in St. Louis then you could learn, play, and lose chess to RZA. There’s also a rumor RZA will be in The Force Awakens and foolishly beats the Wookie at Holochess. If that last sentence made no sense to you, congratulations you’re not a dork!

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What is icing? That question without context can solicit a few different responses: it’s a hockey thing; it’s cake topper; get away from me dweeb. Sports will often adopt words forcing a second (or third) meaning to come into existence. This can cause some delightful confusion for those who don’t follow sports, or for those who follow nothing but sports. Here are some hockey words which will allow you to better communicate with yours truly. The whole thing would be better if it all could have been explained by Denis Lemieux. Also, if he could teach chess as well that would be my new favorite thing.

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There’s a new James Bond movie out in theaters. I’m not much of a Bond fan, though Christoph Waltz is in this one, and that dude rules! So I will probably end up seeing it. The problem here is I don’t know much about Bond. I know there’s someone called M and someone called Q. And Timothy Dalton was awesome in Hot Fuzz. There’s been approximately 900 Bond movies, which means it’s an ideal source for data collection. After reading all the stats and comparisons, I think I’m ready for Spectre. Who am I kidding? We all know once I get to the theater I’ll get distracted and end up at Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension, again.

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I would see either of those movies, or any movie, if I could watch them with a couple of wise cracking robots. I mean, let’s face it, robots make everything better. I can’t think of any instances where having robots around caused any problems. None at all. So I think it’s time we do what we can to bring back two of the best robots who have been missing for some time. I want to make a point that I am not endorsing this Kickstarter, that’s not what this creative output if for. I’m including this because I think it is fantastic that Joel is attempting to bring back MST3K! Donate if you want, or don’t. Whatever. Or just watch old episodes on You Tube. I dunno if they’re all on there, but there are a bunch. I watched several during the waning days of my last job.

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I find this tattoo inSALTing

It's better than the pun
It’s better than the pun

But why?

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