Happy Friday: What A Wonderful World

Joey Ramone

Have you even been in the shower and the water was at that perfect temperature, all your cares from the day were being washed away and you thought to yourself, “Man, I totally understand Kramer’s desire to live in his shower.”? No? Yeah, me neither, except almost always. I’d be in there right now if I could. But I have responsibilities, I mean not many, and they’re of low importance, but I have them. For instance, bringing forth a collection of links to help others whittle away the morning. So here you go, and may your Friday be as delightful as a shower.

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Pack your bindle, get ready to hop box-cars, and bone up on your hobo symbols because we’re about to become vagabonds. Which, as you may expect, is totally different in the 21st century. For starters people become hobos on purpose now. We have reached the point where we romanticized a life riding the rails and shucking the shackles of a scheduled life. I kind of get it, and would fully be on board, except it sounds like it’s it just a bunch of smelly hippies, smelly hipsters, and meth addicts, of the smelly variety.

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There’s a signature move in DDP Yoga called the “Diamond Cutter” and I tend to grunt/yell while doing it. No real reason, it just feels right. It also helps release some stress, and I don’t have to explain myself to you. Perhaps you need more than that one yell, or just generally want yoga to be a bit more intense. Well, let me recommend something called “Rage Yoga.” It’s relatively new, it’s out of Canada (of all places), and it’s what it sounds like. Just a bunch of yelling, screaming, and cursing as you contort yourself into yoga poses. At first it sounded ridiculous, but the more I thought about it, the more it makes perfect sense. I may start incorporating more screaming into my routine. There’s already a ton of cursing during the abs workout. “Red Hot Core,” more like, “Red Hot Torture.” Diamond Dallas Page is not my friend during that workout.

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Yoga is a nice way to lose weight and stay in shape. But perhaps you want something else. Here’s a video of how to lose weight in four easy steps. While I’m sure most of you will see step 1 and immediately say to hell with this, I encourage you to keep watching because Beck Bennet shows up and that dude is awesome! If you don’t watch it all the way through, you’re a piece of shit.

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I’m not what you would call “with it” when it comes to fashion, what with my collection of nerdy t-shirts. But I do know Uggs are popular, go nicely with a Starbucks cup, and are pretty damn ugly. But what’s the real story with Uggs? Oh, they’re Australian. That explains so much. Ugly or not, they sure bring in the dollarydoos. Between these, Crocs, and those things with the individual toes, it’s obvious people have no taste when it comes to footwear. Says the guy who has worn Chucks and Vans almost exclusively for the last decade.

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An important structure in any college town is the Taco Bell. You’re getting that ride home from the bars or party or wherever you’ve been drinking when you forget you had a gyro from the gyro guy and start chanting for tacos. The DD is tired of you yelling in his ear about chalupas and takes you to the Taco Bell. Then you wake up the next day and vow to never drink again, a vow that will last approximately 12 hours. I would wager this exact thing has happened, verbatim, to everyone at least once, but probably multiple times. In Fort Collins, the college town I drank myself stupid in, there is a Taco Bell that looks like it used to be a house. I never thought much of it, because it’s a Taco Bell and most thoughts associated with Taco Bell are how many tacos do I want? But that Taco Bell was indeed an old house where actual people actually lived, then a dentist office. But here’s how it came to be a casa de la cuarta comida.

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If you ask most people about music from Sweden they’ll talk about ABBA or Ace of Base (who were Nazis, by the way) or if you’re lucky, The Hives. But ask former KCSU deejay, Jonny X (who is of Swedish decent) and he’ll tell you all about a little band called Millencolin. Specifically he’ll tell you how he has a scooter and they have a song about a scooter (the best ride they ever had!). Jonny X was not wrong to sing the praises of these Pennybridge Pioneers. Beside punk rocking, and loving scooters, Millencolin are now offering tourism advice on their Swedish homeland. This article is geared toward Australians, but it all applies to Americans, or really anyone who can read English. So go ahead and plan your Sweden trip accordingly, and tell them Millencolin sent ya (or Millencolin skickat till dig). Also, at a Millencolin show I made out with some super-hot, random chick. This has nothing to do with anything, just saying awesome things happen at Millencolin shows.

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My improv class graduation show is coming up, May 11, 18, 25 and June 1st. I’ll expand on that more when it gets a little closer, and when our poster is completed. But if you want a sneak preview, or if you can’t make any of those shows, come to the Improv Hootenanny this Monday. It’s 12 dollars at the door, or 10 online. I’ll be taking the Bovine stage, with the rest of Class 77, at 7:30 with a short version of what we’ll be doing for our grad show. Everything you need to know about the Hootenanny can be found here. More information about the Class 77 Grad Show, including our show name, coming soon. Stay tuned.

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This week’s tattoo stinks like feet and ass,

feet and ass

I admit I laughed at this probably more than I should have.

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