Happy Friday: Everywhere You Look


Like many people my age, the week was spent getting reacquainted with old, familiar friends, just around the bend. Yes, I went maximum effort Gibbler Style and watched Fuller House. And have had at least 5 different conversations with Jon and Jamie about the show. Oh. My. Lanta. The first episode was rough, but after that I really started to enjoy it. I hate myself a little for that, but whatever, there are worse things. Like all the weekdays that aren’t Friday. But luckily we got past all those and found the light waiting to carry us home. Ok, I’ll cut. It. Out. And get to the links.


I was already totally on board with the Ghostbusters reboot. It’s a franchise I loved as a kid, Paul Feig knows how to direct comedy, and the cast is filled with some of the funniest people. Kate McKinnon alone has me cracking up almost immediately as soon as she shows up on-screen in SNL. What’s not to like? But when the official trailer dropped yesterday I lost my damn mind. I gasped at the shot of Hook and Ladder number 8, was in awe of the library ghost, and laughed at nearly every line. Now watch the trailer for yourself, read what Feig has to say, then let’s gas up the Ecto1 and hit the theater.


Perhaps you’ve noticed those new Facebook reaction emojis. You know, those extended “like” buttons allowing you to “love,” “laugh,” “cry,” or “be angry?” Well, along with advertisers using them to make sure you’re capitalism-ing, the FBI and police forces may also be using them to ensure you’re on the up and up. Honestly it sounds like some made up tactic they would use in a Fast and Furious sequel. “Dominic Toretto reacted angry to the Nissan post. But reacted with love to this Volkswagen post. He’s clearly working with Neo-Nazis now.” That may seem absolutely ridiculous, yet it’s about as coherent as Furious 7. And just as clear as exactly how the authorities will be using the emojis to track evil doings.


These days I’m not sure if there are more niche dating sties or niche sea cruises. It all started with singles cruises, because desperation is better with salty sea air. Then there were a bunch of bands with their own floating week long concerts, complete with rock star boozing and puking. And a Disney one, which I think is for furry enthusiasts. So why not have one dedicated to conspiracy theorists? Most of us wouldn’t mind if they were all sent out to sea anyway. Unfortunately, the people of the flat earth society won’t go because they’re afraid they’ll fall off the edge of the planet.


The Oscars were this past weekend. How did you do in your office pool? Won a couple categories with random guesses? Did you do like I did and just picked Mad Max: Fury Road to win everything, even categories it wasn’t nominated in? A few of the folks from Adult Swim’s Childrens Hospital managed to predict every correct Oscar winner in their Oscar show that was definitely filmed on Saturday before the Oscars. While it’s amazing, I still think Mad Max should have won Best Documentary, Short Subject.


If I were to ask you to draw a doctor you would probably put them in lab coat with a stethoscope draped around his (you probably made it a male, you sexist dickbag) neck, and that big, silver, circular thing around their head. What even is that thing? They haven’t used those in like 50 years, yet we still picture them with that thing. I don’t know what that is, and I have no information on it. What I do have is a delightful little history on the stethoscope. One instrument doctors use that I do understand. That and the popsicle stick tongue depressors. I would have been great in med school.


People like to make a big deal and point out how the drummer from Def Leppard can drum pretty well with only one arm. I will admit it’s fairly impressive. I’d be more impressed if he played guitar or piano well with one arm, but for a drummer, it’s good. But also, how much better could he be at drumming if he had a robot arm? Robot arm always trumps no arm. And when you add that robot arm to a two-armed drummer you get some pretty damn good drumming. But this guy still can’t play “YYZ.


When I was a kid and visited my grandmother, one of the many highlights was the riding mower. It was like a vehicle that wasn’t really a vehicle. Or like one of those tiny Shriner cars or a Power Wheels. It was this weird, stupid fun that really should not have been fun. Whatever it was that made the riding lawn mower appealing is the same thing that makes a Zamboni so appealing. The Zamboni may be cooler because you get to drive inside, and on ice. We’re just a culture that likes our driving machines.


I’m usually trying to find a way to get dinosaurs into things like books, movies, Volkswagens (take off their hats). Then this asshead comes along and he takes them right out of things. Ok so they were only taken out of one thing. But when the thing they’re taken out of is known as Billy and the Cloneasaurs it’s kind of a big deal. It’s actually pretty funny to see these folks be in complete awe of only the natural beauty of Isla Nublar. But here’s the version with the dinosaurs left intact for comparison.


Enjoy the rest of the weekend

JesseYou got it, dude.

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