Happy Friday: Check the Rhime

Mad About Friends

There’s an episode of Friends where Helen Hunt and Leila Kenzle show up at Central Perk as their characters from Mad About You and mistake Phoebe for Ursula who exists in the Mad About You world. Assuming one twin is the other I have no problem with. What bothers me is they try to order from Phoebe/Ursula. Instead of thinking that Ursula could just be enjoying a cup of coffee at a coffee shop, they quickly assume she works there. Why? There’s nothing to indicate she’s working there. They just know she works at that other restaurant so they assume she works at this place too. They operate under the notion that anyone who waitresses never goes anywhere to eat or drink. This is akin to when children believe their teachers live at the school. This scene has always bothered me for this reason. A rare misstep for normally strong writing team. But it’s Friday which means time for links and no time to worry about how Mad About You sucks.


In “The Last,” Childish Gambino raps “You get your clothes free when you’re rich, ain’t it funny?” Companies want their brand on those people who are seen and idolized by the masses. So it seems the biggest name in basketball apparel, Nike, would do all they can do ensure that swoosh of theirs adorns the shoes, et al, of the sport’s hottest star, Steph Curry. But Nike got cocky and came at Curry with a half-hearted pitch, and now like everyone else in the league, Nike can’t cover Curry. Under Armour got the Curry account, which means high fashion for all!


I never thought I would be including a link to an interview with Freddie Prinze Jr. I never ever would have guessed that interview would exclusively be about professional wrestling. I had no idea (because I know very little about Freddie Prinze Jr.) he spent time on the WWE writing staff. Based on what he would be doing with Owens and Reigns, I wish he was still there. I’m sure you’re all reading this and know exactly what I’m talking about and would agree. More likely I’ve just alienated my audience.


Wrestling or Freddie Prinze Jr. not your thing or things? How do you feel about stand-up comedy? I don’t have any actual stand-up, but I have stand-up comedians offering advice about and insight about how it feels to go on stage for the first time. Last weekend I auditioned for an improv team (spoiler I didn’t make it) but everything they say rang true to the audition. It was a nerve wracking experience, but I am incredibly grateful I tried. Always never forget that the worst thing that will happen is you’ll fail, and failing is not that bad (in most cases).


In my drunken college youth I was prone to petty larceny. Mostly pint glasses from bars, or hot sauce from bars, or posters from bars. I was a degenerate and bars were like a free for all of things I could stick in my pockets. I’m not proud of this, with the exception of one poster. It depicts a parrot in sunglasses and a sombrero, attempting to enjoy some Corona underneath a banner stating that it is in fact, “Time to Lime.” Corona is piss but that parrot is dope AF. But he’s not the only one. Parrots are far more awesome than I ever realized. Aside from their affliction for beer and ability to make human words, they are incredible smart and vicious when it comes to getting food from plants. Oh and they don’t give a fuck about most of the self-defense mechanisms of said plants. Despite all this fantastic information, my favorite part of the article was the name Dr. Pepperberg. It’s like the dude tried to Keyser Söze his name but was not good at it.


Paris, Istanbul, Brussels. This needs to stop. So maybe this reminder will help.


And to add to it, now Phife Dawg’s there too and he’s all that and then some. Short dark and handsome. He’ll bust a nut inside your eye to show you where he comes from. Rest in power. Forever on point.


Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice opens today, or last night, whatever. I hate Superman and am not a fan of film maker Zack Snyder, but I’m still going to see this movie. I may have a problem. Or maybe I just really dug this latest trailer. The one that gives us what we really want: more Affleck!

While were talking about The Bat, let’s have a look at his most famous nemesis, loneliness. Or the Joker, since it’s much easier to depict a human than an accurate artistic interpretation of loneliness. Here’s how the Joker’s look has changed over the years. I think the 1940 version is the creepiest. That one looks the most like an unbalanced man. And something about those bags under his eyes;It’s like he been kept awake for weeks by the voices. He does not look like a man who is well.


Maybe you’re tired of all these comic book movies and you would prefer something with a touch of history, or car chases, or car chases in history. Well toss something at this crowd funding campaign for Fast Nein: The Fast and the Führer. At least Hitler doesn’t get top billing. There’s something I never thought I would write. How come the poster has a DeLorean but no mention of Michael J. Fox or Christopher Lloyd? We could have an 8th Fast and Furious and a 4th Back to the Future a the same time! Missing out on a real opportunity there. And that’s why I’m not donating. Maybe if they can get Xzibit to pimp the ri…oh, never mind.


Ok, maybe Hitler isn’t the best option for rebranding. Right up there with New Coke. That was before my time but I understand it was quite the fiasco. But it can’t be labeled as complete mistake because many have learned from it. Take Kraft for instance. In an attempt to keep up with demands to lessen artificialness in their macaroni and cheese (or Kraft Dinner as my grandmother would say) they went and changed a bunch of stuff. But instead of making a big showy announcement and calling it New Kraft Dinner, they kept it quiet. They didn’t say anything about it until a large amount of the new stuff had already been bought, consumed, and no complaints were filed. Though I like to imagine there are couple people reacting like this once the changes were announced.


I used to write for site we called Cru Jones Society. We took the name from the greatest BMX movie ever created, Rad. My first real experience with the movie came in college when I showed up at Jon’s place after he had been drinking. I must have been at work or something stupid as I was stone cold sober. But Jon put the movie on and proceeded to narrate the entire thing as it happened. My favorite moments were the ones that involved Lori Loughin as Jon would say, “Here’s where Aunt Becky says ­____.” Then Aunt Becky would in fact say, “_____.” It was stupid, ridiculous, and fun. One of my favorite memories from college. And as it turns out, Aunt Becky doesn’t mind if you call her Aunt Becky. So huzzah!


Thoughts on this tattoo?

I was going to get this same tattoo, but I left my wallet in El Segundo
I was going to get this same tattoo, but I left my wallet in El Segundo

My theory? It’s on the low end.

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