Happy Friday: Drop It Like It’s Hot


There’s this Tostito’s commercial with some child’s birthday party. It’s all out of control because spoiled children mixed with sugar and other children is volatile. Then there are some adults calmly going to town on some Tostito’s chips and salsa. Not a care in the world for these folks whose taste buds have gone south of the border. Which is perfect because chips and salsa do in fact possess such magical abilities. Then one of these adults suggests having a similar such chaotic shindig next week in order to have more Tostito’s and salsa. This is stupid. You never need an excuse for chips and salsa. Some nights my dinner is exclusively chips and salsa. Cue the head of Tostito’s telling me he doesn’t know if single people eat chips and salsa, and frankly he doesn’t want to know. Single people are people too you know! All I’m saying, is enjoy some chips and salsa this weekend with a side of internet. Happy Friday.


One time in school I was asked why the era was called the dark ages. I answered because there were so many nights (knights). I wasn’t called on much after that. But really it’s because the people lived in a world that threw a blanket over any real academic thoughts and ideas that upset the order of the time. Colleges across the country seem to doing their best at creating a modern dark ages. Forgoing any real discussions in fear of offending someone. In order to learn we have to have real conversations and sometimes that may involve saying things that make you uncomfortable. Samuel L. Jackson gets it, while his interviewer does not. I have to stop talking about this now because this article just upsets me. Education should not be censored.


While our higher education facilities may be letting us down, there is still hope for our elementary schools. I give you exhibit A: Caleb Brown, a fourth grader doing things at an eighth grade level. This kid is on a rocket to Russia for sure. Or a road to ruin. Either way, he changes my opinion of today’s youth.


Little Free Libraries are these little boxes set up in neighborhoods to encourage book sharing. There are a couple near me. One of the people who set one up also put a bench next to it, right in the shade of a tall tree. It’s nice. But we all know we can’t have nice things. People are complaining about these libraries because they violate building codes or something stupid like that. To hell with community and reading encouragement, won’t someone thing of the building codes! These people are really turning up the heat, to like 451 degrees, Fahrenheit.


I want to share this next link with only the words that accompanied the link in the email sent to me by a friend, “Dude, zombies.”


I like when things are ranked. Whether I do it, like my top 5 favorite episodes of “The Simpsons.” Or when the guitarist for The Bouncing Souls ranks their albums. Or when some person I don’t know, and who I suspect is a mad man or mad woman, ranks all 314 songs by Bruce Springsteen. If you are really trying to waste the company’s time, go ahead and read through all 314. But if you would rather move on with your life, the number one ranked, best song by Bruce Springsteen is “Born To Run.” I don’t have a strong enough opinion about Springsteen to know if this is an accurate ranking, but I’ll play along.


Let’s take a moment to talk about CM Punk. He was a wrestler, a UFC fighter, he writes comic books, is into hockey, and loves punk rock. He checked off so many of my friend boxes. He’s like the one dude I would wait in line for if he ever comes to Denver Comic Con. I’m already thinking about what I would take to have him sign. Either the first Marvel comic he wrote, or in a bizarre twist a Souls record. Last weekend he had his first fight in the UFC. It did not go well, to put it lightly. But I commend anyone who would do such a thing. Or anyone who would follow a dream. While I understand where he’s coming from, I do miss him in the WWE, but he certainly doesn’t miss being there.


Do you like car crashes and explosions but couldn’t muster up the time to watch all of Mad Max: Fury Road? Well, first of all, make time! It was one of the best movies of 2015. But until you can find the time to watch it, or watch it again, there’s this great behind the scenes look of the practical effects of the cars crashing and blowing up and shit. I’m not sure if there’s a better way to express why one should be a movie director.

Speaking of making movies. Last night was the 48 Hour Film Project’s Best of Screening. Our film, Thunderbolt 2, was part of the screening, but we didn’t win any awards. While it’s super cliché to say, it really is an honor to be selected and screened with so many great films. Denver has a bunch of wildly talented filmmakers. I’m not just blowing smoke, there were films that really had me in awe. I feel like a tourist who snuck into some elite club. Congrats to the winners, good job to all involved, and a big thanks to Nebulus Visions, Plan 9 Studios, and Twelve Monkeys Dancing film. Can’t wait for next year!


One year for Halloween, my cousin went as Darkwing Duck. He would often take off the duck-bill because it got annoying, prompting this other kid to give him a bunch of shit by asking why he was dressed as Zorro. These two did not get along and it almost came to blows. I would hope that if they were going to fight my cousin would have had the decency to utter, “Let’s get dangerous.” Throwing out stupid quotes is how I would fight. It would either disarm my opponent and we wouldn’t fight, or it would confuse and distract them giving me the upper hand. Who am I kidding, I would fall into a fetal position and hope they would take pity. I just realized I got off track and I’m not sure how to right this ship. “Darkwing Duck” is 25 years old. Read more about it. Now that was a landing worthy of Launchpad McQuack. “Duck Tales” Launchpad, but still.


This mail box has gone postal.


I don’t think I’ll get the mail today.

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