I talked earlier this year about some mental health problems I was having. I want to let you know I am doing better. Things aren’t perfect, but mostly I wanted to take charge of my own life. I’m in a good place at the moment, mostly. 2016 is a pretty jacked up year, so I’m doing the best I can. Part of what’s keeping me in the good place is remembering and making notes of my blessings, and since it’s Thanksgiving, I want to talk about a few of these, and some of the little things I do that make huge impacts on my life and well-being.
I know it’s been quiet around here. I haven’t posted anything for about two months. Sorry about that. Though no one has said anything, except for one person who asked why there’s no Happy Friday. But I have been dealing with some stuff and trying to figure out other things. Writing just wasn’t part of that. Although, it probably should have been. Actually I have started dabbling in some fiction work, but writing endings is hard. Everyone just dies on the way back to their home planet. But I’m going to rectify that, the posting on this site thing, not the space death endings. Ok probably the space death stuff, but that’s not the immediate priority. So expect the regular postings again.
On March 8th, 2014 I met Keith and Corrie at local brewery to try out some new beers. I had a few, but kept the intake low enough that I could still drive home, where I got some Thai food and drank another beer. While I have had a few tastes since then, this beer would be the last one I drank.
I was recently talking to a friend about birthdays. I’m usually one to not care too terribly much about my birthday. I don’t like to be the center of attention or make a big deal out of nothing. But this friend of mine said she approaches birthdays in a different way. It’s more of a reflective day for her. She re-evaluates where she is in life and where she wants to be. Or to use a Bouncing Souls lyric, “Who am, who I was, and who I want to be.” I liked this notion, and based the past year, I thought I would take this approach with my upcoming birthday.
Halloween is a time when people get to pretend to be someone or something else. Something I really wanted to embrace after the year I have been having. Instead I got to be the same person having medical issues. While you were getting dressed up and trying to win your office costume contest, or at your kid’s school watching the parade of tiny goblins, and ghouls, and Frozen characters galore, I was at the hospital getting ready to be jabbed in the liver.
It’s that wonderful time of the year. Autumn is just around the corner and tailgate season is underway. While football is not my favorite sport, I still like it and the CSU Rams have been great to watch the past few years. This also affords me the opportunity to hang out with some friends I don’t get to see as often as I would like because things like life happens. But every other Saturday for 3 months I have a standing obligation with some decent dudes and darling dames.
I always thought I would quit drinking when I was much older and on the verge of complete liver failure, or in order to save a rocky marriage, or I was dead. Turns out it would happen when I’m 31 and having only slight liver issues. I don’t know where this will lead me, but hopefully it’s not full retirement from booze, but more of a small break, like a vacation or sabbatical. Yes, like a drinking sabbatical, wait I think that’s the opposite of what’s happening.
When you’re a child your concept of time is all sorts of wacky, so you have no idea what eight weeks means. When you’re an adult you have a better idea. And when you’re an adult who is having medical problems and you have an eight week screening process to find out about a clinical trial that you hope will help you feel as close to your normal self as possible then you know exactly how long eight weeks is. Even with all that going on, or because of it all, these last eight weeks went by pretty quickly.
The thing about having a chronic medical condition is you can’t always guarantee that you’ll keep it in check. That is an issue I recently had. My colitis decided it had had enough of lying dormant and it wasn’t digging its daily dose of drugs. It wasn’t enough for the colitis to rebel against me, it decided to get the liver involved. All of this was causing huge problems, mostly a good dose of light headedness, which is fun at first, like some wonderful drug trip. Then it started affecting my day to day.
I took all this information to my doctor, he couldn’t quite pin down what the problem was, but had some ideas. First idea was to have an ultrasound of my liver, and see what’s going on there. Then follow that up with another colonoscopy. My second one and I’m only 31 years old.