Going Out In Style

I'm Bootsy Collins. I kill you!
I’m Bootsy Collins. I kill you!

Well it’s the end of another year, or the start depending on your view and time zone. And I could do like everyone else and reflect on the year that was or make resolutions for the upcoming year. But we all know I’m not like everyone else. The year was fine, next year will have ups and downs and I can only the best me I can be, blah blah blah. And I’m mostly not a fan of this holiday and will probably be in bed by ten, because I just don’t care. But I wanted to post about a few random thoughts I have been thinking about. Some things that are too short for their own dedicated posts. Back at CJS these would have been considered random musings. Just some things you can think about while waiting for the ball to drop. Or just some things to make you wonder why you read this site. Either way, enjoy or don’t. Whatever.

***

So there’s this State Farm commercial with this guy making statements about what he’s never going to do with his life, “I’m never getting married. I’m never having kids. I’m never moving to the suburbs.” Then each of those things happen. Overall not a bad commercial. But the part that bothers me is the end. He’s on his couch (in the suburbs) with his wife and two kids snuggled up asleep in his arms (awe) and he says in a very sweet and happy with his life choices voice, “I’m never letting go.” But as the pattern the commercial has established is these “never statements” are followed by the opposite thing happening. So what would follow would be this man letting go. I don’t know what that means exactly but it sounds like the dude is making a break for it as soon as things get rough. He’ll be back at the pool from the beginning. Only this time it’s the sad pool at the sad divorced guy apartment complex. Kirk Van Houten is there. Or maybe I’m just cynical.

***

Overall I enjoyed The Force Awakens, but there were several things that really stuck in my craw. But I’m only going to get into one of them. And it shouldn’t be cause for a spoiler alert, but just to be safe I give you fair warning here, in case you’re one of the like 7 people who haven’t seen it yet. Leia is now in charge of the resistance, and goes by General Leia rather than Princess Leia. Not my issue, that’s awesome. But at one point C-3PO slips and refers to her as Princess Leia then immediately corrects himself. Why did he have this slip? I assume Leia has been general for more than a week. I would guess anywhere from 15 to 30 years. Long enough that the general title should have become more common place than princess. On top of that 3PO is supposed to be an advanced android specialized in language. Seems like an error such a robot should not make. Or was it just a moment included to remind us how terrible he is? The only character in every episode, but in case we forgot that he sucks. And how has he not been better upgraded all these years? Other, better writers have brought up the lack of technology upgrades in the Star Wars universe in general, but I feel like as a humanoid robot he should be doing things to improve himself more often. It takes something special to make a robot suck.

***

One of the last things I learned this year was about how our toes are like gears in a car engine and help our calves work more efficiently. I mean there was a lot of physics used in the thing I was reading so I didn’t fully understand most of what they were explaining, but that was the gist and it seems kind of neat. I stumbled on this when I wanted to know why we still have toes. And that inquiry came about after I stubbed my pinky toe and dislocated it. I assumed a doctor couldn’t really do much about so I tried to pop it back in place, to no avail as I know less about doing that than I do about physics. But I could walk on it without pain and I had places to be. So I put on my sock, which then popped in back in place, and went on my way. When I came home later I looked at it and it looked normal expect for being super swollen and a nice dark shade of purple. The bruise covered a sizable portion of my foot. It was something else and it led to me thinking about toes. It was weird and worrisome to see my toe sticking out like it was, but from that I learned something. So I want to use that as a reminder going forward that when something stupid and painful and ridiculous happens I can always learn something.

Happy new year everyone. Be safe and such.

Bender

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