Happy Friday: Ruff Ryders Anthem

Rideth dirty
Rideth dirty

I have a “Never Forget Tony Sly” sticker on my car. Somehow (weather, car washes, whatever) it is losing a corner and is starting to read, “Never Forge Tony Sly.” Not the message I was going for, but still an important one. I hope your weekend can stay on message, and if not, may the new message still be a good one. Also, tomorrow is my sister’s birthday. Be sure to wish her a happy one if you see her. I’m sure she’ll only be slightly embarrassed by it. Or head to Odyssey Beerwerks and buy her a beer. Happy birthday, little sister!

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The NBA Finals started last night. Steph Curry and the Warriors took on Lebron James and the Cavs. Lebron does play for the Cavs, right? That’s got to be right, how else would the Cavs be in the finals? Look at that, I don’t really follow basketball and I throw shade towards the Cavs. Really it’s at the city of Cleveland, because why not? And just to pile on, here’s this. I’m also led to believe this is the same match up from last year’s finals. I don’t usually keep up with the NBA Finals because The Stanley Cup Finals are happening at the same time, also because keeping up with the NBA Finals usually involves watching basketball. And this year is no different. So let’s talk hockey. Last October I took an impromptu trip to Toronto with the main goal of visiting the Hockey Hall of Fame. I got my picture taken with the Stanley Cup (which I then used as my Christmas card, Facebook profile, and if I could it would be on my driver’s license). But if you look close you can see I made a real effort to not touch the Cup as it is a superstition that if you touch the cup before you win it then you will never win it. And that’s not going to be holding me back. Nope, just my inability to skate, complete lack of athletic ability, and fear of being put into the boards by some goon is all that is holding me back from hoisting the Cup. If that was too much hockey lingo for you, then you’re not going to like this bit about the iconic photo of Bobby Orr.

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Every day we are seeing more and more breweries playing with nitro beers. This is an apparent a hot button issue for beer snobs, not beer enthusiasts. Beer enthusiasts say to each their own. I like nitro for porters and stouts. So to me it makes total sense for Starbucks to try out a nitro cold brew coffee. I don’t even like coffee but it sounds kind of good to me. Add a little French vanilla flavor and I’m fully on board. And maybe instead of coffee beans, use hops. Yes, a nice cold nitro vanilla porter sounds delicious!

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Another weekend has past which means I probably saw some movie based on comic books. That would be an accurate assumption. This weekend was the latest installment of mutants, X-Men Apocalypse. It was fine, not terrible but not game changing. I put it at number 5 on my ranking of X-Men films. The full list is 1) X2: Men United 2) Deadpool 3) X-Men: Days of Future Past 4) X-Men: First Class 5) X-Men: Apocalypse 6) X-Men 7) The Wolverine 8) X-Men: The Last Stand 9) X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Here’s the thing about that list, The Wolverine is not a bad movie. I like it. The gap between X-Men and The Wolverine is not that big. But The Last Stand and Origins are terrible. The gap between The Wolverine and Last Stand is enormous. The AV Club has a different ranking and a pretty decent break down of the films. Here’s my main takeaway from Apocalypse: if Oliva Munn’s Psylocke is any indication, the X-Force movie is going to end up high in the rankings. Just early speculation, but I have high hopes. The way you watch your kids grow is how I watch comic book movies go from comic, to script, to screen.

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I think I was in sixth grade when the company my dad worked for in Seattle had some kind of party or something at the Kingdome, a multi-use stadium that shortly thereafter began to fall apart. I got to meet Ken Griffey Sr. Got my picture taken with him and I have never looked paler in my life. Turns out summer vacation in Seattle is not where you get a tan. Ever since that time I became a fan Mr. Griffey’s son, Ken Griffey Jr. Part of it was meeting Sr., another part was the way Jr. smashed balls (phrasing), but let’s not forget the defensive end. Like the time Jr. was in Detroit and, as the saying goes, did as Detroitians do and straight up robbed a dude (of a home run).

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I like funny people. And I like funny people talking to other funny people about their funny careers. So I was stoked for Ben Schwartz (Parks and Rec’s Jean-Ralphio) interviewing Paul F. Tompkins (from Mr. Show) about Paul’s new Hamilton comedy bit. Despite knowing very little about Hamilton I’m excited for Tompkin’s take on the show. I’m actually a fan of his approach to comedy in general. This is just fun.

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I don’t have a good set up for this. It’s pictures of Peyton Manning next to pictures of dogs that have a resemblance to the Super Bowl winning quarterback. That’s Super Bowl 50, which Manning won with the Denver Broncos. In case you forgot. Cam Newton hasn’t. Von Miller still invades Newton’s dreams nightmares every night when Newton strips down to his p.j.s and hits the sack.

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For my sister’s birthday I was going to get her a piece of cake wearing sunglasses and smoking. But there were loading issues. So I got her a poorly drawn cupcake.

cupcake

Topped with a cherry, and . . . marshmallows? skulls? What the hell is going on here?

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