Happy Friday # 1.14 All Hallows’ Eve Eve

Imagine scooping out all those.
Imagine scooping out all those.

When we went to Chicago, Brian was upset about not encountering anyone with the stereotypical Chicago accent the entire trip. On my recent excursion to Toronto, I experienced the Canadian accent from the first person I interacted with. It was glorious. On a side note, when you’re traveling alone, by car, into Canada, and your passport says your from Colorado, you’re suspect. Side effect of legal weed I didn’t anticipate. Oh well, that was last weekend and this is this weekend so let’s put the Canada talk on hold and surf the net so we can get to trick or treating!

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So it’s Halloween time again, and we as a society always feel this is the time we talk about horror movies, frights, and all the things that scare us. But if you think this is the part of our relationship where I tell you what scares me, you are mistaken. I won’t give you an upper hand by exposing a weakness. I will let you know that I am not one of the many people afraid of clowns. But why are so many people afraid of clowns? I mean I understand why Bruce Wayne has issues with clowns, but not every clown is the Joker, Pennywise, or John Wayne Gacy, so what’s everyone’s problem? They probably didn’t grow up with Blinky’s Fun Club, or you know, some sort of psychological thing, put probably the Blinky thing.

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One of the easiest and cheapest costumes one can do is the Groucho glasses. We all know it, with the nose, mustache, glasses, and burly eyebrows. They’re iconic because Groucho Marx was iconic. He was a comedic genius and besides all the great Marx Brothers movies, he was also quite the TV star. But we (as in this much younger generation) almost missed out on “You Bet Your Life” because NBC and Groucho were very close to destroying all the reels of the show. Jack Nicholson, of all people, helped save them. 195 episodes of “You Bet Your Life” were almost destroyed for taking up space, yet every week there’s a new episode of some Kardashian piece of shit. Somewhere we went wrong with television.

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In the late innings of home games for the Colorado Rockies, the mascot, Dinger, will be in the stands behind home plate and spin his head around in some sort of psyche-out maneuver. As the Rockies constant poor record shows, this psyche-out doesn’t really work. There was one night he was doing this shtick while I was on the phone with Jon and Jon stopped in mid-sentence to inform me that, “Dinger is a fucking bitch.” Now that’s all that goes through my head when I see that purple dinosaur. Maybe it’s not fair. Mascots have to put up with a ton of shit, but verbal abuse from the comfort of my home is small change compared to the Secret Service threating a kill shot. The job of professional mascot is apparently so much more than photo ops, t-shirt cannons, and dancing like a buffoon.

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Remember that painting of Vigo in Ghostbusters II? Specifically how angry and upset he looked? Turns out he looked like that for the story. Movies aren’t real. But it also turns out the dude had a pretty messed up life and was also quite the chode juggler. At least he had the courtesy to up-hold the German tradition of being a terrible human being. Fascinating read though. It makes me happy Egon, Ray, Peter, and Winston came, saw, and kicked his ass!

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Aside from Vigo, the other thing most people remember about Ghostbusters II is the pink goo. Or maybe you’ll recall the proton packs. Not a movie for you? Ok, how were the kids from The Sandlot able to defeat the beast? That’s right, P.F. Flyers. Or why were they in that pickle in the first place? What I’m trying to highlight here is the importance of props. Yeah, I’m giving props to props. I think I was a little too proud about using that phrase. Things in movies are important and let’s not forget that lest we end up with a horse head in our beds. Horse head and bed, two things that made that scene memorable.

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There’s an old adage about not seeing how the sausage is made but just enjoy it for its great sausage taste. I don’t think I said exactly right. But the point is you can be in awe of the floating head of the Great Oz or you can look behind the curtain and destroy the illusion. There might be a third way I can say that and really muddy up whatever I’m trying to get at. For the most part I am content at just enjoying whatever is in front of me, except when it comes to the arts and the creative process. This is especially true when it comes to cartoons. I’m already in awe of the basic concept of bringing a drawing to life, but there’s so much more involved to actually produce thirty minutes (or rather 24 minutes) of coherent story telling animation. It’s also amazing to think people have endured this grueling process for 27 straight years. Probably why this was one job Homer hasn’t had. Way too much work for such a lazy man.

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Over the years, like all of the years, science has made some incredible discoveries. So many that I can’t even decide which ones are the most significant or neatest to use as examples. So let’s just jump to one of their most recent discoveries: Cheese is as addictive as drugs. Yeah, people who get to call themselves scientist found that cheese is so delicious it creates the same chemical reaction in our brains that drugs do which makes people crave them. And that’s just from eating the stuff, you don’t have to inject it! As a single guy living alone, I have the typical empty refrigerator, but there is always some kind of cheese in that sad sack of a fridge. So I fully believe these results are legit. Cheese is awesome and if I am addicted it’s fine. I’m not hurting anyone and I can quit anytime. Besides, I learned it from watching you, ok!

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Not sure if this cheese is fancy or hipster.

Mmmm...cheese
Mmmm…cheese
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