The car came to a stop. I got out and viewed the road ahead. Sight was limited, but I kept looking. I knew I had to go. I wasn’t sure what was out there. I have no idea what lies ahead, but as Thoreau told me, that is but a tiny matter to what lies inside me.
Funny thing about life, we can never be quite certain what will come of it. We can plan and prepare as best we can, and for the most part we can control it. But every so often life likes to pretend it’s Sandy Koufax or one of those dudes with the weirdo delivery and throw a mean curve ball.
I was recently tossed one of these curves as the company I work for decided to shut down its Denver office. With my position being redundant, and other cuts within the company, I wasn’t offered the chance to relocate. Instead I was given a severance and will be out of a job in the next couple weeks.
I wasn’t necessarily doing thrilling work, or even doing something I liked or really wanted to do. But it was a good company and it was something to do every day. Oh, and outstanding benefits and amazing seats for Rockies games, and free downtown parking. I think what got me the most is I’m not leaving on my own terms. I didn’t find something I wanted to do and decided to leave, but rather I was forced out and I am not prepared.
Not leaving by own accord has forced me to figure out what I want to do and you know what conclusion I have come to? I have no idea. It’s as if I was tossed into the sea and told to swim to shore. I don’t know which way the shore is. And I definitely have no idea what is on that shore. All I know is I will keep swimming.
One bright side is having the severance cushion. I don’t need to make a decision right away, and I have some freedom to try some new things. It’s just weird because I haven’t had more than maybe two weeks in a row off in 16 years or something like that. So I plan to embrace that. Maybe something will come out of it. Still feels weird to have worked half my life and not know what I want to do.
My first plan is to embrace my creative side more. So look for more posts here. I’ve also enrolled in an improv class. Word does not like the word “improv” and continually adds an “e” to the end. I can only assume that this class will improve me. I remember really enjoying that in high school and some people said I was good at it. Maybe something will come from it, and if not, at least I’m having fun. I’m also working on something else that I’m only going to tease with that. It is way down the pipe line and more resources are needed. But the water is on there and it will make it’s was out eventually.
Life is full of change. Whether we want it or not. The best thing to do is to embrace it. After a rough year, I have learned that the best thing is positivity, so I will only focus on the good that this lay off brings and won’t worry about the bad.
Joes Strummer once said, “The future is unwritten.” I guess it’s time to get writing.